More and more women are now going out to work and some women are now the major salary earner in the family. What are the causes of this, and what effect is this having on families and society.
Nowadays, women are working in other places instead of their husbands and even earn a bigger salary than their husbands. This is a lot of causes of women going out to work and some effects to families and society.
In recent years, some women work instead of men because some men do not work in the factory and other places. So women earn a major salary. For example, my neighbour does not work at the any places because he has health problems like stress and his hands and legs do not try. So his wife works in some places instead of him. Other cause is that women have not their husband. So they must be earning a big salary because they may have some children, or they should some money for personal objects. Another cause is that most women interested earning money since when they work in the see popular cities, status, and other magical things.
However, there are also some effects of women earning money. For example, government supports women to work than men, people give big salary than men. Firstly, governments support women than men to work and give some work to women instead of men. So governments distinguish women and men. Other effect is that people give a big salary than men. For example, my aunt and my uncle work together in same places, and they do same tasks. However, my aunt gets a bigger salary than my uncle.
In conclusion, women earn major salaries than men. There are some causes and effects of women earning money. Some causes: men do not work in houses, or they have health problems. So, governments do not give work to men.
The essay is somewhat coherent, with a basic structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the organization is somewhat confusing, with ideas not always clearly connected. The use of cohesive devices is also limited, which affects the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, there is some repetition of ideas, which could be avoided to improve coherence.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Avoid repetition of ideas and phrases.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are some inaccuracies in word choice. The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies in word choice and repetition of words and phrases. Additionally, the use of informal language (e.g., “magical things”) is not appropriate for an academic essay.
The essay uses a limited range of grammatical structures and there are some errors in sentence construction. The essay attempts to use a range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in sentence construction and tense usage. Additionally, there are some issues with word order and article usage.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response, but the response is somewhat basic and lacks detail. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the reasons why more women are entering the workforce and the effects this has on families and society. However, the response is somewhat basic and lacks detail. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by offering a more in-depth analysis of the issues discussed.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Offer a more in-depth analysis of the issues discussed.