More and more women are now going out to work and some women are now the major salary earner in the family. What are the causes of this, and what effect is this having on families and society.
Nowadays, women are working in other places instead of their husbands and even earn a bigger salary than their husbands. This is a lot of causes of women going out to work and some effects to families and society.
In recent years, some women work instead of men because some men do not work in the factory and other places. So women earn a major salary. For example, my neighbour does not work at the any places because he has health problems like stress and his hands and legs do not try. So his wife works in some places instead of him. Other cause is that women have not their husband. So they must be earning a big salary because they may have some children, or they should some money for personal objects. Another cause is that most women interested earning money since when they work in the see popular cities, status, and other magical things.
However, there are also some effects of women earning money. For example, government supports women to work than men, people give big salary than men. Firstly, governments support women than men to work and give some work to women instead of men. So governments distinguish women and men. Other effect is that people give a big salary than men. For example, my aunt and my uncle work together in same places, and they do same tasks. However, my aunt gets a bigger salary than my uncle.
In conclusion, women earn major salaries than men. There are some causes and effects of women earning money. Some causes: men do not work in houses, or they have health problems. So, governments do not give work to men.
The essay is somewhat logically organized, with a clear progression of information and ideas. However, there are some abrupt transitions and unclear connections between sentences and paragraphs, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning. The use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and limited, which can affect the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear closing statement.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. Some words and phrases are repeated frequently, which can affect the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, there are some errors in word formation and spelling, which can make the writing difficult to understand.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions. Some sentences are repetitive or awkwardly constructed, which can affect the overall clarity and readability of the essay. Additionally, there are some errors in verb tense and agreement, which can make the writing seem unprofessional or difficult to follow.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response, but the argument is not fully developed. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the reasons why more women are entering the workforce and the effects this has on families and society. However, the essay is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth in places, which can affect the overall quality of the response. The conclusion is somewhat abrupt and could be more fully developed to provide a clear closing statement.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide sufficient support for your points.
- Avoid repetition and try to develop your ideas more fully.