Muslima KH JIS
Some people believe university students should be free to choose any subject they like while others think they should focus only on subjects that are more useful for future jobs like school or technology. I partly agree with this because both sides have valid points.
On one hand, letting students choose subjects they truly care about can lead to better results and greater personal happiness. When students are interested in what they are studying they stay motivated and perform well. For example, someone who loves art might create unique and meaningful work that adds value to society. In addition, studying a mix of subjects like history, literature, philosophy and others helps students develop creativity and problem solving skills which are important in any career.
On the other hand focusing on practical subjects has its benefits. Careers in areas like technology, engineering and medicine are highly popular and usually come with better pay. These areas also help to solve global issues like climate change, improving healthcare etc.
In my opinion universities should try to strike a balance. It’s important to let students follow their interests but they also need to support in understanding which subjects are more useful for their careers. By providing career advice and highlighting job opportunities in different industries, universities can help students make smarter choices about their education.
In conclusion I partly agree with both sides of the argument. Students should have the freedom to study what they like but they also need to focus on skills and knowledge that will help them succeed in the future. A balanced approach is the best way to prepare students for borh personal and professional success
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be further developed in places.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully. Provide more detailed examples to support your points.