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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

New technologies have shifted the way children spend their leisure time, offering both advantages and disadvantages. On the positive side, children can learn foreign languages through phone or PC games during team-playing with foreigners. Moreover, they become masters at using technologies, which can impact their future employment prospects. On the negative side, while playing games, the screen time also increases, which can cause serious health issues.
Firstly, nowadays, the majority of games are related to the internet and provide chances to play with foreigners. This means that while playing games, children try to communicate with strangers in nonnative languages, and in this scenario, children also boost their linguistic abilities during their games. In addition, children proficient in technologies may access better job opportunities in areas like programming as well as data analysis, helping them when it comes to job seeking.
However, a rising amount of screen time may also cause health problems. Mainly, many children today have problems with their eyesight due to spending considerable amounts of time looking at screens. This can cause long-term issues, including headaches and reduced productivity, because the light from screens negatively affects the brain and reduces its pace.
Additionally, apart from eyesight issues, some extra problems arise, for instance, a sedentary lifestyle. Children engage in little to no physical activity and become less active. This can lead to obesity due to a lack of movement.
In general, while technologies might positively impact children in some cases, such as fostering their language skills and job prospects, they cannot outweigh the disadvantages associated with their usage, because nothing is as priceless as human health.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your paragraphs have a clear central topic.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.