Now, there are more people willing to look younger than the past. Why is this the case? And Is it negative or positive development?

It has been noted that increasing number of people are embracing to appear younger than their actual age. This trend can be explained by modern beauty standards and individuals’ desire to imitate for social media celebrities. And due to some underlying factors, I personally think that it has a huge negative impact on people’s health and personal budget.
On the one hand, there are many reasons why most of the people want to look younger. For one thing, there are unique beauty standards for every era, and in the 21st century, the modern technologies and the media industry shaped these standards. In other words, “the younger – the more beautiful” ideology gained popularity among communities by Internet and by media platforms, and thereby, the majority of society is believing that they can be attractive by appearing more younger than their real age. Celebrities are another factor for the tendency above. Young and famous people appearing on TV and many social media apps such as Facebook and Twitter becoming iconic figures of “real” beauty for public and individuals obsessed with attractiveness are trying to appear young as these famous stars, imitating their personality, style, and in a various ways. The last survey of Chanel and Dior showed that 80% of youngsters are imitating the renowned individuals to look beautiful, and half of them believe that the most efficient way of looking trendy is only being younger or look younger.
In addition, because of many reasons, I think that social enthusiasm for appearing younger may set challenges for individuals economically and medically. First of all, to have a younger appearance, people are becoming prone to serious diseases such as cancer or heart attack. To explain, the cosmetics that are used to make up are harmful for inner organs and easily can be absorbed by the liver. As a consequence of over – utilization, these beauty products can produce harmful chemicals inside our digestive system and deteriorate the function of our stomach, kidney, and heart. For instance, according to the data from the hospitals, 20% of patients who are suffering from cardiovascular illnesses are regular users of cosmetics. Secondly, plastic surgeries, skin care products, and nutrition that make people to have a youthful look are costly and individuals should spend considerable part of their earnings into these items. As a result, people channel less financial resources into other priorities, which really increase their revenue and improve their living standards.
To sum up, the abovementioned phenomenon is attributable to root causes like today’s beauty standards and public interest for prestigious personalities. Nevertheless, in my own opinion, finacial situation and personal well – being of individuals may deterioate because of the given trend.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. For example, the phrase “the abovementioned phenomenon is attributable to root causes like today’s beauty standards and public interest for prestigious personalities” could be rephrased as “the trend towards youthful appearance is influenced by factors such as current beauty standards and the public’s fascination with celebrity culture.” Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, the phrase “the abovementioned phenomenon is attributable to root causes like today’s beauty standards and public interest for prestigious personalities” could be rephrased for clarity. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the trend of people wanting to look younger and the potential negative impacts of this trend on individuals’ health and finances. The writer presents a clear thesis statement and supports it with relevant examples and explanations. However, the essay could benefit from a more focused introduction and conclusion that directly address the prompt. Additionally, the writer could provide more specific examples to support their points. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.