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Nowadays, families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the cause of this and what can be done to make a family closer?

Todays families fail to have closer relationships compared to their counterparts lived in the past. In my opinion, one primary reason behind this social issue is the rise of contemporary technology. However, to keep families closer as before and functioning well again, both parents and children should adopt a concerted approach.
Social media and cyber games have prompted family ties deterioration. In this globalized world, most people have a profound addiction to the internet and social media platforms. Many tend to stay up late watching Instagram reels and YouTube shorts, sacrificing their sleep and time for the most part. Left unsupervised by parents, children mostly opt for gaming, spending long hours in virtual world. As such, they barely engage in conversations on each other`s studies or work. By contrast, before the advent of modern technology, families were often observed together, conversing with one another and sharing a laugh.
One compelling solution is to shift from virtual to real life, cutting on activities such as streaming movies online, endlessly watching reels and playing cyber games. Simply putting mobile phones and laptops away and having lengthy conversations instead, as well as going for a stroll to the parks or cooking a meal together can significantly strengthen family bonds, enabling parents and children to get closer emotionally to one another. We, for instance, often work in our lovely garden and prepare Uzbek national delicacies like pilaf as a family on a regular basis.
To conclude, families socially drifting away from each other is primarily due to modern technology addiction, which is a worrying issue. However, to tackle this pressing concern, family members should spend more quality time together in real life.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your sentences are not too long or complex, which can sometimes make your writing less clear.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions, but these do not impede overall understanding.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that you fully develop all of your points and provide sufficient support for your arguments.
  • Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.