Nowadays many elderly people live alone and this can cause a variety of problems of society. What are some of these problems and what solutions can you suggest?
Majority of people of old generation prefer to live alone nowadays and this situation might cause bunch of problems for society. This essay will suggest some of these kind of problems and also possible solutions.
One of the main problems of this issue is isolation and loneliness. Living alone often leads to less social activities like conversation. As a result, they might face another issues, such as depression, loneliness and other problems connected with mental health of people.
In addition, if older people live alone, their mindset and view on the world will be less positive about life. They might also lose interest too in life and may it may probably lead them to commit suicide. To prevent these situations happen, elderly people, who don’t have family and close people, should be controlled by government, their every single step shouldn’t be out of control. It can prevent them from committing suicides.
Next problem for people living alone is shortage of income. They some of them worked and retired now and get low pension and some of them haven’t worked and don’t have any income producing activities. As a result they don’t have accomodation or products to eat. They’re depressed and don’t want to live anymore. They will probably commit suicide. To stop these problems, here are solutions : Government should provide them with money and products to eat and they need to be severely controlled to stop them commit suicide.
In Conclusion, this issue can cause several problems for society and all of them can be solved with strict control.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing the information. However, there are some issues with coherence in the body paragraphs, as the ideas are not always clearly connected. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to better guide the reader through the text.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support this idea.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary could help to strengthen the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain reader interest. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting. For example, “They some of them worked and retired now and get low pension and some of them haven’t worked and don’t have any income producing activities” is a run-on sentence that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of articles and prepositions is sometimes incorrect, which can also affect the clarity of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay clearly addresses the prompt by discussing the problems faced by elderly people living alone and suggesting potential solutions. However, the development of the ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the proposed solutions. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions more clearly.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Provide a deeper analysis of the proposed solutions and their potential effectiveness.