Nowadays, many people buy more household goods (like television, rice cookers, microwave ovens, etc.). Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In recent years the influence of technology has touched every aspect of human life, even household field has not been left behind. Many people are purchasing home appliances such as rice cooker, television and microwave ovens to bring ease to their life. Although this tendency may lead to sedentary lifestyle, it will give people more freedom to manipulate their spear time however they want.
Granted, having the luxury to have technology to do chores at home, shift people’s lifestyle in an inactive one. After an office job that needs little to no physical activity, people should spend house time with chores that are demanding manually. In this way, they put some strain on their physic and force many muscles on their body to be in an active state and burn some calories. However, the availability of household appliances deprives people of this opportunity, since instead of getting involved in the household settings, people just transfer this responsibility to the technology.
Despite the downside of this trend, I believe this is a change for the better future. People will have more free time as they give away their role of doing chores to the goods and can spare this time to the more meaningful commitments. They can have quality time with family members, strengthening the bonds between parents and children. Through this, parents may compliment wasted time at work and give more care and attention to their child, instilling family values and traditions in the process.
Moreover, people spend 2 to 3 hours on house chores daily and thanks to the utilization of technology, they can have these hours free of any activities. Instead, they can use this time for self-care and entertainment. Having a full time job leaves people with less time to take care of themselves and this open spot on the schedule may grant people a chance to work on their personal growth. They can take up new hobbies or start a gym session which is way healthier than just squandering time on phones.
Apart from that, people may relieve their accumulated stress and depression when they get back home rather than doing house work and the best remedy for this is a relaxation via watching TV. Being able to take a time off from all the hustle and relaxing can improve people’s potential and encourage them to work more and better.
In conclusion, getting a big collection of household goods does have a health repercussion, but this shift has generally influenced people in a positive way, allowing people to economize time and save it for the personal purposes.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the points you have made in the essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the impact of household appliances on people’s lives and lifestyles. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the counter-argument. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and support them with relevant examples.