Nowadays many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What are the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment?
nowadays,it’s more common among people to provide themselves with a job rather than having an opportunity to work for a company or organization. Choosing it could give more independence and excessive money as an advantage, while it demands to work harder.
Many governments have been focusing on developing businesses and secure an amount of money as a credit that’s given for a lower percentage. As a result, most people have been trying hard in order to make more money and independence, because companies and other workplaces have restricted the opportunities which are given to workers. For example, they couldn’t work whenever they want, they do everything on time, otherwise it will affect economically to the salary. Due to these causes, more people are on the way to self-employment, while it has some advantages and disadvantages.
On the one hand, one can be more happier and independent than working for someone, because they always have to listen and live in the line, but the person can work comfortably, and earn more money than before at workplaces. Profits separated into many people, now it goes to only one.
On the other hand, if full profit is belong to a person, and the loss also affects on him, the worst thing is that no one knows that self-employment can be either flourishing or lose. The person should be ready to one of them. Moreover, until it’s flourishing, the person should burn the midnight oil. As a result of that, it negatively impacts the relationships, and mainly to the health, which is harder to recover.
To conclude ,self-employment is increasingly popular rather than working for others. People are considering that it has more convenience, as it affects budget and fulfills their desires, while it has negative sides.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic of self-employment. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are some errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why people may choose self-employment over traditional employment and the advantages and disadvantages of this choice. The essay provides a clear explanation of the factors influencing this decision and the potential benefits and drawbacks of self-employment. However, the essay could be more comprehensive in its discussion of these points and provide more specific examples to support its arguments.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.