Nowadays, many people move away from their friends and family for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, many people relocated to other places in search of jobs and leave their friends and family behind. While there are certain drawbacks to this, they are outweighed by the benefits.
One downside of moving to other places is the feeling of homesickness. Starting a life in a new location can often be challenging, especially without the emotional support of family members. When a person is left without such support, this may affect their mood, confidence, and productivity, which can take its toll on the person’s overall well-being. The fact that it is hard to adapt to new environments is another drawback. For example, when a person moves abroad, they may find the local language and culture difficult. This usually slows down the adaptation process and can even lead to depression.
Despite these disadvantages, the advantages are greater. One notable upside is the opportunity for personal growth. When people start living away from their familiar surroundings, they become independent, which can teach them several skills, including but not limited to managing their finances, cooking, and overcoming challenges all by themselves. These help people to become more well-rounded. Another positive is that people can improve their standard of living. For instance, salaries offered in foreign countries are usually markedly higher than those in people’s own country. As a result, they can not only meet their basic needs for food and shelter but also save money to support their family members.
In conclusion, although there are some disadvantages to moving away from family and friends for work, they are not as significant as the advantages.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay demonstrates a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors that could be addressed.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Consider summarizing the main points made in the essay more clearly in the conclusion to provide a more effective closure to the argument.