Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?
In a world dominated by intense job market competition, it has become increasingly common for older individuals to compete with younger candidates for the same occupations. While this trend creates challenges such as limited career advancement and a lack of job availability for up-and-coming professionals, which, in turn, may contribute to increased emigration. I believe that this competition should be transformed into intergenerational collaboration, with enhanced retirement support serving as a possible solution to the problem.
When a senior employee competes with a young professional for the same position, one of them may either struggle to advance their career or lose their job entirely. In either scenario, the affected individual is likely to look for solutions elsewhere, with emigration being a potential option. This employment crisis has become a significant issue in countries experiencing rapid population growth. The most concerning repercussion of this tendency is the loss of talented individuals, which can hinder a country’s development and progress.
To ensure everyone enjoys equal career opportunities, collaboration should be prioritized over competition. Establishing mentorship programs can make younger professionals learn under the guidance of their experienced older counterparts. This approach not only secures a source of income for both groups but also provides invaluable opportunities for skill transfer and learning from experts. Such partnerships can be impactful, especially in fields like medicine, law, and education. Additionally, governments should introduce enhanced support programs for retirees. Beyond pensions, there should be other benefits for retirees so that they are not interested in extended employment beyond the ages of 60–65, ultimately helping to alleviate job market competition.
In summary, fierce competition between various age groups in the workplace can lead to undesirable outcomes and encourage many young candidates to emigrate in hopes of finding a better career path abroad. To prevent this competition from escalating further, fostering cooperation among employees has to be prioritized, alongside the implementation of improved retirement programs provided by the responsible officials.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your solutions directly address the problems you have identified.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. The problems and solutions are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.