Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities and centers with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is this a positive or negative development?
These days, some seniors prefer to live in nursing homes instead of spending the rest after retirement with their adult children. While this is a negative trend for children left deprived of the valuable experience and wisdom of their parents, this brings so many benefits for the elderly themselves since retirement centers provide numerous opportunities.
This phenomenon could be viewed negatively in some cases. One such drawback is that children would miss the opportunity to use the priceless life experience and wisdom of their parents. Every elder member of the family has unique perspectives and insights gained throughout their lives, which may prove useful to inexperienced children in various situations. For instance, just relying on knowledge and invaluable advice given by older people allows younger members of society to resolve family issues and mental problems with ease. Moreover, a break-up between grandparents and their children along with grandchildren would lead to the disappearance of traditions and family values since no one informs them in the family.
However, I am convinced that this decision made by older people can be beneficial in many ways. Firstly, living in retirement communities, the elderly make sure to have free access to healthcare, accommodation, and recreational activities without causing a financial burden for their children at home. Additionally, nursing homes are great places for social interactions especially for those who suffer from loneliness and boredom at home. In government-regulated centers, older people have a chance to share their experiences and thoughts with their peers, which brings back fond memories and helps them lead a happier life.
To conclude, even though residing in government-funded centers for the elderly may be disadvantageous for adult children to some extent, it is a mostly positive development for those who are not dependent financially on family members and find more life satisfaction.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for better clarity.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging to the reader.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to make it more engaging and to provide a clearer thesis statement.