Nowadays the year off between finishing school and going to university is becoming popular. What are the advantages and disadvantages?It can be clearly seen that the break between graduating school and going to university is becoming drastically popular among the students. In this essay, I will explore its positive and negative influences. On the one hand, the year off between finishing school and going to university can be useful for pupils, owing to having enough time to earn money for compensating their expenditures while studying at the university. Because most of the students leave their residential areas to study at the university. As a consequence, they need to rent a flat and its fee is very high for the junior persons. And most of the parents encountered difficulties, therefore, students prefer to work before going to university in order to compensate their expenditures. On the other hand, it has some drawbacks for students, due to finishing university late. In fact, students should be married about twenty two years old, but at that time, they didn't have the opportunity for this. Because they spend approximately two years making money and they are studying for about four years at the university, as a result, they miss the time. Furthermore, it may result in the loss of knowledge that they have in the school. As a consequence, they need to learn their needed subjects for approximately two years and then they might matriculate. And this can cause difficulties for the marriage, because as they finish the university, they will be about twenty five years old. Thus, this is late for the marriage in our community. To sum up, the break among graduating from the school and matriculation has both positive and negative effects for the students. However, I believe that the break is not necessary for the pupils.
It can be clearly seen that the break between graduating school and going to university is becoming drastically popular among the students. In this essay, I will explore its positive and negative influences.
On the one hand, the year off between finishing school and going to university can be useful for pupils, owing to having enough time to earn money for compensating their expenditures while studying at the university. Because most of the students leave their residential areas to study at the university. As a consequence, they need to rent a flat and its fee is very high for the junior persons. And most of the parents encountered difficulties, therefore, students prefer to work before going to university in order to compensate their expenditures.
On the other hand, it has some drawbacks for students, due to finishing university late. In fact, students should be married about twenty two years old, but at that time, they didn’t have the opportunity for this. Because they spend approximately two years making money and they are studying for about four years at the university, as a result, they miss the time. Furthermore, it may result in the loss of knowledge that they have in the school. As a consequence, they need to learn their needed subjects for approximately two years and then they might matriculate. And this can cause difficulties for the marriage, because as they finish the university, they will be about twenty five years old. Thus, this is late for the marriage in our community.
To sum up, the break among graduating from the school and matriculation has both positive and negative effects for the students. However, I believe that the break is not necessary for the pupils.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the arguments more effectively.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as in sentence structure, which can make parts of the essay unclear. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help to convey the arguments more effectively.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the discussion of the advantages and disadvantages could be more balanced, and the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the discussion of the advantages and disadvantages is balanced.
- Provide a more effective conclusion that summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion.