Nowadays there is a growing trend of private car ownership
In recent years, the trend of owning private cars has been on the rise. Despite some negatives coming along with this trend. I think it is posetive seem to be more significant.
Firstly, the advantages of personal vehicles is that comfortable to go somewhere you want by personal car instead of paying travel fares. After that cars provide a comfortable environment, especially for long journeys. It also safe than public once it offers a personal space.
Secondly, cars contribute to air pollution, and it leads to health problems like asthma, bronchitis, and other illnesses.
In conclusion, I think public transport might be dangerous, and spending time there has advantages more than disadvantages.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points discussed rather than introducing new ideas.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points of your argument.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that can be distracting. Additionally, the use of informal language (e.g., ‘public transport’ is referred to as ‘public transport might be dangerous’) may not be appropriate in an academic essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, ‘the advantages of personal vehicles is that comfortable to go somewhere you want by personal car instead of paying travel fares’ should be ‘the advantage of personal vehicles is the comfort of going somewhere on your own, as opposed to paying for public transport’. Proofreading is essential to identify and correct these errors.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of private car ownership. However, the argument is not fully developed, and the essay tends to make general statements that could benefit from more specific examples and evidence. The conclusion is also somewhat abrupt and could be expanded to provide a more comprehensive summary of the points discussed.
Suggestions
- Provide specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.