Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university. Is this a positive or negative development?
In this day and age, school graduates compete with each other to secure their positions in their dream universities. While this brings about some issues, I tend to view this trend positively as competition encourages would-be students to work hard and prepares them for real-life challenges.
To begin with negatives, the processes – applying to universities, taking entrance exams and getting an acceptance letter – can be overwhelming. Most young people sacrifice several nights for exams after finishing high school. This may result in anxiety and stress since most of them are not ready to cope with such mental work. Thinking about falling behind their peers and failing put them under depression and fear. Furthermore, this competitiveness would demotivate students coming from rural areas which lack the same educational opportunities as cities. With this comes inequality and unfair distribution of resources among young members of our society.
However, I believe that this development could benefit young people in numerous ways. Firstly, it serves as an encouragement for teenagers to strive for excellence. To clarify, during the preparation, students spend their time more efficiently and acquire many skills that help them stand out and take over their competitors. By contrast, if there were unlimited quotas in university, applicants would be lazy to prepare, making sure they would be accepted anyway. Secondly, the resilience and perseverance fostered in this period can prove useful in their adulthoods, making them capable of dealing with real-life challenges more easily. For example, students with competitive spirit and patience are likely to resolve family or work-related issues later in their lives without any difficulty.
In conclusion, there is a growing number of students who are applying to universities and trying to obtain university acceptance. Although this trend entails some negatives, they are triumphed by its positives – skills gained through this experience which are beneficial for further personal development.
Evaluate the essay
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A variety of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions are used effectively. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be improved.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more effectively paraphrased to convey the topic more clearly. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the key points of the argument.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the introduction effectively paraphrases the prompt and clearly states your position.
- Consider providing a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the key points of your argument.