Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university Is this a positive or negative development?
In recent years, it has become common for students in many countries to gain admission in order to compete with others. While it poses some challenges as it causes anxiety, stress and makes universities crowded. I firmly believe this to be a positive trend, mainly because, it encourages greater motivation and fosters personal growth
One major negative side is that being competitive for getting into universities can lead to increased anxiety and stress among students. Since, students prepare for a long time and try to outperform their peers, this pressure often results in sleepless nights and declining mental health. As a result students are likely to have health issues. Furthermore, high demand for applying to universities may affect classes. For example, The more students there are , the more people will attend the lesson. This means it can be negative in the quality of education and personalized attention from professors.As a consequence, they will be inexperienced and not know their job fully.
On the other hand, one positive aspect of rising competition for university admission is that being motivated by competing with others. As pupils may well work harder to achieve better results and strive for academic excellence by spending much more time. Additionally, competitiveness develops essential life skills such as perseverance, time management and the ability to cope with pressure. By learning these skills, they will change their life positively .
In conclusion, while competition for university admission has drawbacks, such as increased stress and overcrowding, I believe the positive aspects outweigh the negatives. It helps students cultivate valuable skills and motivates them to strive for success in both their academic and personal lives.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, in the sentence “As a consequence, they will be inexperienced and not know their job fully,” the word “inexperienced” is not the best choice to convey the intended meaning. A more appropriate word could be “unprepared.” Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, in the sentence “Since, students prepare for a long time and try to outperform their peers, this pressure often results in sleepless nights and declining mental health,” the phrase “since students prepare for a long time” should be “as students prepare for a long time.” Correcting these errors and ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the increasing competition for university admission. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by ensuring that each argument is fully developed. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Make sure that each argument is fully developed and that you have provided sufficient support for your position.