Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university Is this a positive or negative development?
Students applying for universities these days face rigorous competition. While this trend entails some downsides, I believe it is a desirable change overall.
An emotional toll resulting from the stiff competition is one concern over this development. When students have to compete with many others to get into a university, some, if not most, of them are bound to fail due to limited quotas. Naturally, seeing years of efforts going down the drain would make any student frustrated, disappointed, and even discouraged. This emotional distress can be difficult to overcome for some students.
However, the heightened competition is a positive development. Firstly, such an intense competition often fosters self-development. When many outstanding students apply for a prestigious university, their grades become secondary and the university places more emphasis on other criteria such as extra-curricular activities, achievements in sports, or volunteering experience. Trying to meet these criteria, students develop personally.
Increased university competition also offers long term benefits. When only those who deserve are accepted to universities, this can lead to effective education. By admitting deserving students who demonstrate work ethic and passion for learning, universities can ensure that graduates are well-equipped to tackle real-world challenges. These students enter the workforce with knowledge, skill, and adaptability needed to thrive in today’s rapidly evolving job market.
In conclusion, an emotional impact on students who may fail to enter universities due to competition is one negative effect. Despite this, I tend to view this development positively because it promotes self-development and prepares skilled workforce.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay demonstrates a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Include specific examples to support your arguments. In the second body paragraph, you could provide an example of a student who was admitted to a university based on criteria other than their grades. In the third body paragraph, you could provide an example of a graduate who was able to succeed in the workforce due to their university education.