Nowadays young people are living with their parents longer than in the past. Why is this happening? Is this positive or negative?
In recent years, teenagers are residing with their parents rather longer than in the past. This activity can certainly bring benefits to the parents,but I would regard this to have some negative influences.
On the one hand, living longer with their parents can be rational for the younger people. Because, most of the countries have this kind of tradition and they try to keep this custom. Whereas the children of the parents are married, they prefer to reside with their parents rather than living alone in most nations. However, in some countries, young people live with their parents until they are married, namely until about 20 years old, because this is their custom. Residing more with parents is better than the other one, because young people can provide parents with needed items even if they are aged.
On the other hand, living longer with parents can have negative influences on their parents. Firstly, most of the youngsters get into an effortless life, owing to the parents making money not the sons. As a consequence, many people continue to work even after retirement. And they died earlier, owing to working much. I mean, living longer with parents may have negatives.
To sum up, in recent decades, youngsters are residing with parents quite longer than in the past in many nations that can be positive in some conditions, but it may be a negative development owing to the customs of the parents and both negative and positive influences occurred by the parents.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures, such as subordinate clauses, could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the reasons for the trend of young people living with their parents and its potential effects. However, the ideas could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the arguments. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points discussed.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea.