Nurmuhammad
The illustration represent changes in the town of Kimsville which has developed in these days. There have been several changes and then i will deal with in the next paragraphs.
Since 2002, there have been noticeable changes with new residental and commercial areas replacing older industrial structures. Additionally, the transportation infastructure has also been improved with the construction of the new train station addition of a new road leading to the train station.
In 2002, the town had the old cinema which has been transformed into a pub and new apartments have been constructed in the area. Optionally, the town had a factory located near the city center, which has been replaced by a new train station. Furthermore, the town now have a football stadium, which was not there in 2002. A new software company has also been constructed in the city, replacing the area where there were trees. However, the mall remained unchanged.
The essay presents information logically but lacks clear paragraph structure and transitions.
Suggestions
- Use clear paragraphing to separate different ideas.
- Include linking words to improve flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Adequate range of vocabulary, but some errors in word choice and spelling.
Some grammatical errors are present, affecting clarity.
The essay addresses the task and includes relevant information, but lacks detail in some areas.
Suggestions
- Include more specific details about changes.
- Ensure all changes are clearly described.