Nurmuhammad
In this day and age, we can notice that people waste hours of their time each due to traffic congestions on the road. This makes many problems, but there are ways to solve them.
Firstly, Permanent reasons could be road reconstruction and we may notice that the road is being repaired and because of this a large traffic jam appears and we can notice that the number of traffic lights is also increasing and that is why large traffic jams appears.
Secondly, while cars provides comfort and we can notice that some families have 1 or 2 cars, but car also have other side like air pollution, which is also big issue. That’s why people need to go to work or somewhere with bus and it will reduce traffic jams.
There are some solutions for this problems. Firstly we need to strengthen road construction of our roads, and finish all of this road construction problems and we have so many traffic lights, which we need to get rid of them. Lastly, the government need to organise the ublic transports for workers and students to reduce number of cars.
In conclusion, the problem of traffic jams only can be solved by reducing number of cars. The government need to organise the bus for workers and students also, that will be good for people who doesn’t have a car and the number of cars will be reduced and people wouldn’t buy a cars for going to work and somewhere. The number of accidents will be decreased too.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as “traffic congestion,” “permanent reasons,” and “public transport.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, such as “we can notice that the road is being repaired and because of this a large traffic jam appears,” which could be more clearly expressed. Overall, the essay shows a sufficient vocabulary to discuss the topic, but there is room for improvement in the accuracy and appropriateness of word choices.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not detract from the overall clarity of the message. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows an attempt to use complex grammar. However, there are some grammatical errors that can hinder the clarity of the message, such as issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition use. Additionally, there are some punctuation errors that can affect the readability of the essay. Overall, the essay demonstrates a mixed level of grammatical accuracy, and there is room for improvement in the correction of grammatical errors to enhance the clarity and professionalism of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, and the body paragraphs each discuss a single solution to the problem of traffic congestion. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments and by offering a more detailed analysis of the proposed solutions. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style to better fit the task requirements.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Offer a more detailed analysis of the proposed solutions.