Over the last few years our modern world some individual think that the best way to increase the condition teachers' salaries . Also, other people believe that it is more important to improve the school facilities. Both views are rational in their own ways . One the one hand , I would agree with the later groups of people and there some reasons why it is advised to increase the salaries of the teachers. First of all, our government increase the salaries of the teachers. As you know, there can be a change in the academic performance of skills to teach children efficiently . As a result , many teachers teach children with effective ways to learn faster and effectively . This session could make improvement in learning lessons effectively by the children. One the other hand, there can be better to enhance the facilities of the educational areas in order make improvements in the quality of education. For example, if the government provides necessary items to the schools and other schools did not have air condition smart TVs in the rooms. In addition , governments to provide schools with lunchrooms . Because most of the scientists say that unless people are extremely hungry they can not learn anything efficiently during the study. Overall, while there is some truth to the idea that the increase of teachers salary. I think that the improvement in the school facilities.
Over the last few years our modern world some individual think that the best way to increase the condition teachers’ salaries . Also, other people believe that it is more important to improve the school facilities. Both views are rational in their own ways .
One the one hand , I would agree with the later groups of people and there some reasons why it is advised to increase the salaries of the teachers. First of all, our government increase the salaries of the teachers. As you know, there can be a change in the academic performance of skills to teach children efficiently . As a result , many teachers teach children with effective ways to learn faster and effectively . This session could make improvement in learning lessons effectively by the children.
One the other hand, there can be better to enhance the facilities of the educational areas in order make improvements in the quality of education. For example, if the government provides necessary items to the schools and other schools did not have air condition smart TVs in the rooms. In addition , governments to provide schools with lunchrooms . Because most of the scientists say that unless people are extremely hungry they can not learn anything efficiently during the study.
Overall, while there is some truth to the idea that the increase of teachers salary. I think that the improvement in the school facilities.
The essay is somewhat logically organized, with clear topic sentences introducing each paragraph. However, there are some instances of unclear connections between ideas, particularly in the second body paragraph. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, with some transitions abrupt or missing. The overall flow of the essay is choppy, making it difficult to follow the argument.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph clearly relates to the main topic and supports the overall argument.
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with many words and phrases being repeated. There are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice, which detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise vocabulary could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, with some sentences being overly long or awkwardly constructed. There are several grammatical errors, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views on how to improve the condition of teachers. However, the argument is not fully developed, with the writer only discussing each point briefly. The conclusion is also weak and does not effectively summarize the main points or reinforce the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph provides a clear and detailed explanation of the point being made.
- Consider strengthening the conclusion by summarizing the main points and clearly stating your position.