People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people to drink less?
The increasing popularity of consuming sugary drinks has become significant to modern concern. While this rise in consumption of such subjects can be attributed to aggressive marketing throughout the world and products fueled by a lack of public awareness, the issue can be mitigated through education with the implementation of higher demand for taxes.
The primary reason why sugar-laden drinks are consumed above the statistics is aggressive marketing by beverage companies. Such companies invest in heavily advertised products that portray sugar-based drinks as refreshing and desirable, targeting mainly young demographics. This can be explained by the fact that these beverages are mainly budget-friendly and easily available, in comparison to their other healthier alternatives, such as fresh-produced juices or just water. A perfect case in point with those highly regarded two drinks, Pepsi and Coca-Cola. Both, in a similar manner, can be found in every inch of the market, vending machines, and online stores compared to their counterparts. As a result, fresh water and sugar-free sodas are mostly in higher beverage aisles and, in terms of price, are highly regarded. Another reason is growing cultural convenience, as people prefer ready-to-drink options over their other alternatives. In most cases, individuals lack awareness about health-related issues such as heartbreak, obesity, and diabetes.
To address these issues, the government should make basic stages to educate youngsters to avoid sugary drinks. While schools where rudimentary rules are explained in very basic formulas to enhance the way of opting for sugary drinks as that first place, which looks after children for extended hours, social media is on the second hand to target children. In Finland, health-focused campaigns successfully reduced the number of people opting for sugary drinks, demonstrating the potential of promoting this phenomenon in a wider place. Higher taxes are another key to leading a healthy lifestyle. Mexico and the United Kingdom are countries where taxes made it way more difficult to afford sugar-based drinks for the public, giving no chance to purchase water and other alternatives of healthy drinks, though affluent individuals are financially capable of buying them.
To sum up, with being a reason to that, there can be a high proportion of people choosing them as they are cheap and easily found. By implementing higher taxes on those who intake sugar drinks, it can be a reason to prevent such issues and educate highly demanding people about sugary beverages.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the main points well, but the connection between different ideas could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and sophisticated language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Overall, the essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, but attention to detail in the form of proofreading could improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the increasing consumption of sugary drinks and suggesting solutions to reduce this consumption. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to the popularity of sugary drinks and proposes practical solutions, such as education and higher taxes, to address the issue. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could more fully summarize the main points and reinforce the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the conclusion fully summarizes the main points and clearly restates the position.