People now find it difficult to live healthy because of busy schedules

In recent years many people are struggling to live in a healthy life due to their busy daily routines. This essay will explore the main problems of this shift and propose viable solutions to address it.
To begin with, one of the main problems is the health problems it causes. Since we live in a fast-paced society, people now have little time to spend for doing other things aside from their work or study. In other words, people now do not spend their time to do sports. Consequently, working long hours without enough physical exercise, may cause major health problems such as obesity and poor eyesight as well. Moreover, not living in a healthy lifestyle can be detrimental in a way that people may find it impossible to be successful or financially stable. As living in an unheelly lifestyle can cause such major health problems, it negatively impacts people’s productivity in work or study. As a result, without enough work experience or fundamental knowledge, the likelihood of losing job is high which eventually leads to poverty.
However, there are effective solutions to address this issue. Organizing time neatly can be a practical solution. Since the problems of the unheelly lifestyle are very destructive, people should consider balancing their work time and personal life. In other words, by reading some books such as Atomic Habits or Deep Work, people can learn the science of organizing time. Consequently, once they are done with it, they can spare extra time to do sports daily which is considered a part of healthy lifestyle. Furthermore, by depriving themselves from junk foods, people can start living healthy. Since most of foods we consume are not nutritious, we should choose the right products to eat which help us to be healthy. With little determination and discipline, people can shift to healthy foods from ready-made products such as hamburgers and snacks. As a result, they may find themselves living healtyly.
To sum up, living in unheeltly life presents major health problems such as obesity and poor eyesight along with affecting people’s productivity and job prospects negatively. However, these problems can be tackled by implementing some solutions such as organizing time and consuming only healthy foods.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “fast-paced society,” “obesity,” and “nutritious foods.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. For example, the phrase “unheelly lifestyle” should be “unhealthy lifestyle,” and the phrase “living healtyly” should be “living healthily.”

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds interest and variety to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. For example, the phrase “living in a unheelly lifestyle” should be “living in an unheelly lifestyle,” and the phrase “spare extra time to do sports daily” should be “spare extra time to do sports on a daily basis.”

The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the challenges many people face in maintaining a healthy lifestyle due to their busy schedules and by suggesting practical solutions to address this issue. The writer presents a clear explanation of the problems, such as a lack of time for physical exercise and unhealthy eating habits, and proposes realistic solutions, such as organizing time more effectively and making healthier food choices. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.