People use computers when they work or go banking, but some argue that it will make people isolated and decrease their social skills. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?
In todays modern world , people use computers for work and banking because they are fast and easy to use. However, some people think that using computers too much can make people lonely and reduce their social skills. I think this idea is partly true.
First, using computers a lot can make people feel alone. For example, people who work on computers all day might not talk much to others. Instead of meeting friends or family, they may spend more time on their devices. In banking, people no longer need to visit the bank because they can do everything online. This means they miss chances to meet and talk to others.
On the other hand, computers can also help people stay connected. Social media and video calls make it easy to talk to friends and family. People can also meet new friends online. At work, computers help people work together even if they are in different cities.
In conclusion, computers can sometimes cause people to feel isolated, but they also make communication easier. It depends on how people use them. If people use computers wisely, they can stay social and connected.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, but the body paragraphs could be more detailed. Transitions between ideas are present but could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Provide more specific examples to support your points.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is a good range of structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, but the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the key points made in the essay and clearly restates your position.