People use computers when they work or go banking, but some argue that it will make people isolated and decrease their social skills. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?
In today’s modern world, computers play a significant role in our daily lives, especially in workplaces and banking. However, some people believe that excessive use of computers may lead to social isolation and reduced interpersonal skills. While this concern is valid to some extent, I believe that the impact depends on how computers are used.
On the one hand, it is true that spending too much time on computers can limit face-to-face communication. For example, people who work remotely often communicate through emails and video calls rather than having real-life interactions. Over time, this could reduce their ability to read body language and understand social sign . Similarly, tasks like online banking eliminate the need to visit a bank and interact with staff. If people become excessive dependent on computers, they might feel disconnected from society.
On the other hand, computers can also improve social skills and connections if used goods . For instance, social media platforms and video conferencing tools allow people to stay in touch with family and friends, even if they live far away. Moreover, many online training programs help individuals develop communication and teamwork skills, which can enhance their social abilities. In workplaces, computers often enable collaboration through share platforms.
In conclusion, while the excessive use of computers can potentially lead to isolation and a decline in social skills, this is not an inevitable outcome. The key lies in finding a balance between using technology for convenience and maintaining personal interactions. Therefore, I partially agree with the viewpoint, but I believe that the negative effects can be minimize with conscious effort.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points more clearly.
Suggestions
- Consider restating your thesis and summarizing the main points made in the essay more clearly in the conclusion.