People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the most significant of those problems? How can these problems be tackled?
In today’s world, urban life has been associated with both positive and negative issues.. They face many problems every day. We can take traffic jams as an example. We can solve this problem by increasing public transport even more. I consider the statement to be true and will highlight points to explain why and also , how it can be resolved
Actually , every person almost have your private car in modern city. This will certainly lead to traffic jams. In addition, poisonous carbon dioxide emitted from cars causes to air pollution, destruction of the ozone layer and various new diseases among people. According to statistic, every two people have one car in the developed Republic of South Korea.
To solve this problem, it is necessary to increase the number of public cars. This will lead to less traffic on the roads. In addition, it is necessary to produce more electric cars that are completely harmless to our ecology and do not emit various gases. In the developing 21st century, scientists are searching for and working to produce cars that run on hydrogen gas.
In conclusion, to prevent traffic jams, it is necessary to reduce the use of various types of gas or gasoline vehicles and increase the use of electric vehicles and increase public transportation.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to provide a comprehensive summary of the points discussed.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices. For example, “public cars” should be “public transportation,” and “poisonous carbon dioxide” could be more accurately described as “emitted from cars.” Additionally, the use of statistics could be more precise to support the arguments more effectively.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that can hinder understanding. For example, “every person almost have your private car” should be “every person almost has their private car,” and “poisonous carbon dioxide emitted from cars causes to air pollution” should be “poisonous carbon dioxide emitted from cars causes air pollution.” Proofreading is essential to correct these errors.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the response could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the problems faced by people living in large cities and suggesting solutions. However, the ideas could be more fully developed, and the arguments could be more thoroughly supported with specific examples. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the potential drawbacks of the proposed solutions to provide a more balanced argument.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea and is well supported with specific examples.
- Consider discussing potential drawbacks or counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.