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Pie chart

The four pie charts compare male and female in terms of three different employment sectors in A and B countries.
Overall, man employers are the dominant in all sectors in both countries, except for agriculture in in A country. The service of female workers is relatively less than their male counterparts in industry. It is also clear that working in services is the most popular job in both genders in A and B countries.
In A country, Working in various services is relatively higher in male workers than their female counterparts, with respective figures of 56% and 49%. In comparison, the percentage of woman employers is considerably larger than males in agriculture, accounting for 43% and 29%, respectively. However, 15% of men work in industry, while the figure for women is 8%.
When it comes to the B country, employing in services is the highest among the bother genders as the former country. The proportion for this sector is 65% in male workers and 49% for woman employers.
Similarly, male employers are three times higher in terms of working in industry than than females, the proportion for the former makes up 32% and the latter’s is 11%.
Likewise, agriculture field is the least popular sector for both male and female, males’ portion amount to 3 % in this sector and this is only 1 % for female workers.

6.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good overall progression.

Suggestions
  • Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of the essay.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is generally used appropriately, with some minor errors.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are some grammatical errors that need to be addressed.

The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. The essay also makes some comparisons where relevant. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more comparisons between the different sectors and countries.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific details and make more comparisons between the different sectors and countries.