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Question: It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, film, and the Internet. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that it is unnecessary to travel to foreign countries and learn their culture and lifestyle through books, movies, as well as advancements of the Internet.While such sources may provide information about overseas nations, I firmly believe that first-hand experience cannot be replaced with anything else.
One advantage of the Internet is that it can be used to observe nations’ culture through watching videos and movies on YouTube. In other words, every country attempts to showcase their traditions and way of life by creating films, especially local YouTubers who like to make videos about their hometown. With this development of technology, individuals can acquire basic insights about a particular country and its tradition, leading to questioning the significance of traveling. In addition, there are also books that can enrich our awareness about foreign nations by telling stories associated with certain nations and their culture. Authors can offer almost complete interpretations of lifestyle as a personal witness, resulting in a sense of residing in the country.
Nevertheless, I am convinced that such media and information sources can be misleading as well as erroneous. This is because most bloggers tend to post videos that are exaggerated to attract the attention of the audience that can eventually result in misunderstanding about foreign countries and different cultures. Furthermore, in terms of books, authors’ descriptions about countries as well as their traditions can be obsolete, since in today’s contemporary world the way people live is constantly changing due to cutting-edge technologies and globalization, which makes it difficult to keep up.
Moreover, first-hand experience cannot be substituted with books, films and videos. As all individuals have their own perceptions about the world, by using aforementioned resources, one can only get access to limited comprehension or other person’s opinion about overseas nations and cultures. Without forming personal opinions, it is hardest to fully comprehend the country’s culture, bringing about confusion and misunderstandings.
In conclusion, despite books, films, and the Internet that may supply information about other countries, they can be confusing and misrepresented. Hence, it would be better to rely on first-hand experience.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly identifiable. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A variety of vocabulary is used effectively and accurately. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be improved to better introduce the topic and provide a clear thesis statement.

Suggestions
  • Consider revising the introduction to provide a clearer thesis statement and better introduce the topic.