Question: Some people think that the best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. Others believe that it is more important to improve the school facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words in response to this question, presenting arguments for both sides and concluding with your own perspective.
Some humans belive that increasing salaries of instructors is the best method to rise quality of teaching. And others are against by support an idea which can be able to resist. It is about moving up of education’s quality is that developing facilities of the schools. Both views are rational, but I agree second method.
On the one hand, there are some resaons of advising first opinion. Firstly, when the governement reward teachers by rising their salaries that enugh for their needs, they automatically take a responsibilty to their work and start to note learners’ condition. Secondly, high earning attract successful employees. For example, lots of staffs who are reached to high knowledge are paying attention to other works which can can satisfy the requirements.
On the other hand, enhancing school facilities play a importan role in improving education. For instance, modern technologies, laboratories, and well-equipped classrooms make the studying proccess more interesting and effective for everyone who are learning in schools. Moreover, advanced facilities can support teachers through making their job easier and more efficiently.
In my opinion, both factors are equally important for improvement of teaching. Therefore, I can’t choose either first group or second.
To sum up, if both sides are used at same time, goverenment can achieve faster.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures and there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues. However, these do not generally impede communication and the overall meaning of the essay can still be understood.
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position, but the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the reasons why both increasing teachers’ salaries and improving school facilities may enhance the quality of education, as well as a discussion of potential counterarguments.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.