Question: Some people think that the best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. Others believe that it is more important to improve the school facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words in response to this question, presenting arguments for both sides and concluding with your own perspective.

Task2
Essay
According to some data, raising teachers’ salaries is the great way to make education better. Others think that it is more ultimate to improve the school convenients. In this essay I will discuss both views before giving a reasonable conclusion.
On the one hand, raising teachers salaries is the best way to attract quality teachers. That in turn will improve teaching quality.Also we can encourage to teachers through raising their salaries. When we raising salary, they can increasing their experience and reduce stressful situations. Plus, the commitment of the school system to quality will encourage current teachers to do better.
Despite the fact that the people increase teachers’ salary, some people will be carefull to focus on school facilities. The main reason, most of the students want to study at the school without any issues and they want to be all conditions at their school. So their parents prefer to encourage schools’ facilities. For example, if the government can create all facilities at school for students, they can increase their abilities and consentration.
While, giving a raise in salary to teachers is one way to make education better, others opinions are different from them. Therefore, from my point of view, it is great way to improve the school facilities for students.

5.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the key points.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the essay sometimes repeats the same words or phrases, which can make the writing seem less varied and dynamic.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in punctuation and spelling, which can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. Additionally, the essay sometimes repeats the same sentence structures, which can make the writing seem less dynamic and varied.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the discussion could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the essay sometimes repeats the same ideas or points, which can make the writing seem less focused and cohesive.