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Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What are the causes of this? What can be done to encourage people to follow the guidelines?

The scientific studies have proven some activities to be positive for health, while others have negative effects. In spite of this, numerous people continue doing such unhealthy activities. This can be attributed to the pleasure taken from certain activities and the current trends make people opt for them. However, with effective measures, the situation can be improved.
First reason why people continuously engage in unhealthy activities is the feeling of excitement they derive from them. Activities, such as skydiving, rock climbing and base jumping all can lead to serious injuries and can even be fatal at times. Nevertheless, there are millions of people around the world doing them on a regular basis since they can get adrenaline and a unique sense of pleasure doing those activities.
Another reason could be current trends that lead many individuals to blindly follow others and engage in unhealthy practices. Sedentary activties including playing video games, streaming or any passive activity emerged and became trendy during the Covid-19 pandemic, especially among the youth. As a result, it is becoming increasingly common for people nowadays to spend a great deal of time in front of computer screens playing or watching, which may result in obesity, heart desease and diabetes.
People, however, can be encouraged not to engage in such activities in several ways. Firstly, public awareness should be raised so that individuals who are doing those activities are familiar with the hazards. If people know the concequenses, they could stop or limit their involvement in unhealthy activities. In addition, the rules and guidelines for extreme sports fans must be stricter to ensure safety and prevent injuries and potential fatalities.
Moreover, schools can also contribute by organising awareness campaigns and various social activities to keep young people active. Since most of those who actively play video games and engaging in inactive activities are teenagers, school can make a significant difference. By inspiring students to participate in sport competitions or taking them to school trips, education system can encourage children to give up unhealthy activities.
In conclusion, although some activities have been proven to be bad for health, the majority of people still engage in them because of unparalelled feelings derived from them and the current trends that drive popularity of actvities. The situation can be improved by raising public awareness and taking stricter safety measures for certain sports. Schools can also play a role by encouraging children to take up healthier and active options.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly structured. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant examples to support the arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more persuasive and help to provide a clearer picture of your ideas.