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Since time immemorial, health has been popular topic for scientists. Some of researches taken by them show that some activities could be beneficial for people, while the others are detrimental. However, people know about negative consequences of engaging in unhealthy activities, but still want to experience it. Lack of awareness and some addictive habits could be main causes of this.
To begin with, lack of awareness is one of the causes of this behavior. Despite research, some people remain uninformed about the specific risks of participating in these activities associated with unhealthy behaviors. Furthermore, addictive habits could also lead to people engaging in this type of activities. For instance, smoking, drinking alcohol and fast food consumption could be considered as addictive bad habits. It makes it harder for individuals to quit despite knowing the consequences.
One of the measures that should be taken to encourage healthy behavior is promoting education campaigns. For example, launching educational campaigns to raise awareness about the benefits of encouraging healthy lifestyle, and the risks of unhealthy activities. Moreover, policies could be established. Governments can implement taxes on unhealthy products, such as sugary drinks, cigarettes, and alcohol.
To conclude, people engage in unhealthy lifestyle due to their addiction to certain things, and lack of awareness of consequences. However, establishing and implementing taxes, regarding consumption of unhealthy products and increased awareness can fix this situation.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the connection between some ideas and paragraphs could be improved. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the transition to the body paragraphs is a bit abrupt. Using more transitional phrases could help to improve the flow of the essay. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points and clearly stating the proposed solutions.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
  • Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states the proposed solutions.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices. For example, “it makes it harder for individuals to quit despite knowing the consequences” could be rephrased as “it makes it harder for individuals to quit their addictive habits despite knowing the consequences.”

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the use of prepositions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected. For example, “research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad” could be rephrased as “research shows that some activities are beneficial for health, while others are detrimental.”

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why people engage in unhealthy activities despite knowing the consequences. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors involved, such as lack of awareness and addiction, and proposes potential solutions, such as promoting education campaigns and implementing taxes on unhealthy products. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments and by offering a more detailed exploration of the proposed solutions.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states the proposed solutions.