Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the growing emphasis on international cooperation and collaboration, it has become increasingly common for rich countries to help economically disadvantaged ones. However, there is a view that financial support does not solve the issue of poverty and these better-off countries should therefore give aid in different forms beyond money. In my opinion, help should be directed depending on the needs of the recipient countries.
Financial assistance plays an essential role in certain circumstances. This form of aid is often seen as a short-term relief to the country receiving it. In other words, money should be given to countries in crisis due to whether wars, natural disasters or economic instability. Take Ukraine as an example, a country experiencing a war with Russia. Continuing for more than two years, this war not only has destroyed much of its infrastructure, but also affected its economy negatively. In this particular case, sending financial and also humanitarian aid to the country can help its population survive longer.
As monetary help is necessary for countries in need of immediate support, those having a high poverty rate are better assisted with other means to lower it in the long term. One such aid is to provide poorer countries with educational opportunities. This can be done through sending volunteers to conduct training sessions designed for skill development and give school students proper education, preparing a future skilled workforce. Companies with competent employees would, in turn, bolster the national economy by making innovation and dealing partnerships with foreign investors.
Furthermore, providing low-income nations with medical professionals has a pivotal part to play in poverty reduction. This is to ensure that people are healthy, which often translates into improved productivity and well-being. With productive and healthy population comes economic growth since the strain on medical services would be lower, allowing the government to direct its budget into other essential areas, including water management, transportation and education. The enhancements of these critical aspects can improve the quality of life.
In conclusion, while philanthropic assistance in the form of money is to aim for temporary solutions to the countries in various troubles, volunteering educational and medical professionals can lift poor nations out of poverty in the long-term.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.
“In other words, money should be given to countries in crisis due to whether wars, natural disasters or economic instability.” – The phrase “due to whether” seems to be a typographical error. It should be “due to” followed by examples of crises.
“As monetary help is necessary for countries in need of immediate support, those having a high poverty rate are better assisted with other means to lower it in the long term.” – This sentence is a bit confusing and could be rephrased for clarity.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your sentences are clear and easy to understand.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
“In other words, money should be given to countries in crisis due to whether wars, natural disasters or economic instability.” – The phrase “due to whether” seems to be a typographical error. It should be “due to” followed by examples of crises.
“As monetary help is necessary for countries in need of immediate support, those having a high poverty rate are better assisted with other means to lower it in the long term.” – This sentence is a bit confusing and could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
“In other words, money should be given to countries in crisis due to whether wars, natural disasters or economic instability.” – The phrase “due to whether” seems to be a typographical error. It should be “due to” followed by examples of crises.
“As monetary help is necessary for countries in need of immediate support, those having a high poverty rate are better assisted with other means to lower it in the long term.””Companies with competent employees would, in turn, bolster the national economy by making innovation and dealing partnerships with foreign investors.” – The phrase “dealing partnerships” seems to be a typographical error. It should be “forming partnerships”.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas. However, the conclusion could be stronger. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples of non-financial aid and by offering a more detailed analysis of the effectiveness of different types of aid in reducing poverty.
Suggestions
- Consider providing a more detailed analysis of the effectiveness of different types of aid in reducing poverty.
- Provide more specific examples of non-financial aid and their impact on poverty reduction.