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In today’s digital era, it is not uncommon to see children spending hours daily on their smartphones. This trend is driven by several factors, and while smartphones offer some benefits, I believe the negatives far outweigh the positives.
One major reason children spend so much time on smartphones is the widespread availability of engaging content. Social media platforms, online games, and video streaming services are designed to capture attention for long periods. Additionally, smartphones provide easy access to educational apps, but these often take a backseat to entertainment-focused activities. Another contributing factor is the increasing reliance on technology for communication. With the rise of messaging apps and social networks, many children use their smartphones to stay connected with friends and peers. Furthermore, busy parents often allow children to use smartphones as a way to keep them occupied, sometimes unintentionally encouraging excessive screen time.
While smartphones do have some positive aspects, such as access to educational resources and opportunities to develop digital skills, I believe that excessive use is mostly harmful. Spending too much time on smartphones can lead to issues like reduced physical activity, poor posture, and even sleep disturbances due to prolonged screen exposure. Additionally, overuse can negatively impact mental health, leading to issues like anxiety, addiction, and lower attention spans. Socially, it may limit face-to-face interactions, making children less adept at forming meaningful relationships in real life.
In conclusion, the increasing use of smartphones among children is largely driven by the availability of engaging content and modern communication needs. However, I see this as a negative development due to its harmful effects on physical, mental, and social well-being. To counter this, parents and educators need to encourage balanced use of technology while promoting healthier alternatives like outdoor activities and hobbies.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be improved for clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that you fully develop all of your points and provide sufficient support for your arguments.