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School should replace books with computers, games, and movies. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that schools have to substitute books with tools such as computers,interactive games and movies.While technology into education offers many advantages,I strongly believe that digital machinery can affect education by having negative impacts on learning and health concerns.
On the one hand ,computers games and movies can make students learning more quickier.Interactive tools such as games ,movies could help students learn more easily in their major subjects like math,history and science.For instance ,student struggling remember a historical dates and events,names can get benefit by watching movies about this events as they can provide visual illustrations .As a result ,this educational videos can encourage students motivation and makes learning enjoyable.
However, using of screens could lead to health issues, such as eye strain, headaches, and other common problems associated with screen time . Additionally, students who spend long hours using digital tools to read books or play educational games might have problems such as eye strain, headaches, and other common problems associated with screen time.This can have long lasting impact on their physical well-being.
Moreover,replacing books with digital tools may lead to a lack of learning and critical thinking.As books encourage students with analytical skills since they have to analysis the insights on them while technology may not provide this benefit and can minimize students thinking.For example , by watching movies,pupils will not be made to try to imagine a situation as it is already given in video.
In conclusion replacing books with computer games,movies have benefits for education while drawbacks are more obvious than upsides.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the overall stance on the issue.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure to clearly state the main points in the conclusion and restate the overall stance on the issue.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures with a fair level of accuracy. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader and could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay clearly addresses the task, presenting a well-developed argument both for and against the use of digital tools in education. The position is stated clearly in the introduction and conclusion, and the essay provides relevant, detailed examples to support the arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed exploration of the counter-argument and by offering a more nuanced conclusion that considers the overall balance of the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that both sides of the argument are equally developed and supported with specific examples.