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School should replace books with computers, games, and movies. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that schools have to substitute books with tools such as computers,interactive games and movies while technology into education offers many drawbacks than advantages,I strongly believe that digital technology can effect to the higher education with negative impacts on learning and health concerns.
On the one hand computers, games and movies can make students learning more quickly.Interactive tools such as games ,movies could help students learn more easily in their major subjects like math,history and science,For instance student struggling to focus on a history look back on dates and historical events,names might be memorable by watching movies about past.As a result This educational videos can encourage students motivation and makes learning enjoyable.
However using of screens could lead to health issues, such as eye strain, headaches, and other common problems associated with screen time . Additionally students who spend long hours using digital tools to read books or playing educational games might be cause in their lifetimes and also with physical activity
Moreover,replacing books with digital tools may lead to a lack of learning and critical thinking.As books encourage students with skills,analysis while technology such as computer games,movies minimize student thinking,For example pupil watching movies,but not all movies are worth to watch with no useful information it follows that it is wasting time .
In conclusion replacing books with computer games,movies have advantageous for education while drawbacks are more obvious than benefits.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the overall stance on the issue.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and the conclusion.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support that idea.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures and shows some control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader and may sometimes hinder the overall clarity of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of replacing books with digital tools in education. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the counter-argument.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
  • Consider addressing a counter-argument to provide a more balanced view.