Schools should use games,films and computers instead of book

Computers, movies, and games should be used by schools as opposed to books. While these contemporary technologies seem detrimental for children. I believe that using books can be beneficial and help them become well-rounded individuals.
Admittedly, using computers, films, and games for children might be harmful. One reason could be that these methods damage not only physically but also mentally. For example, if children are devoting most of their time to using gadgets, which leads to harming their eyes, and children may be highly dependent on using gadgets anytime and everywhere, this will cause children to be lazy without technologies. Additionally, computers, movies, and games could be obstacles to focusing mainly on the lesson. The fact that students use technologies during lessons means that they are likely to use them for other purposes. Entertainment apps serve as a pertinent example; these days, like Instagram and TikTok, are developing at an unprecedented level, so sometimes they opt for watching short videos. Therefore, youngsters have to use technologies for the right purposes. such as helping with homework or improving themselves professionally.
Despite these arguments, I remain convinced that using books at the schools is useful for young people. This is because, when they go for using books during the lesson without gadgets, they can analyze the lesson deeply and also focus inside the book’s tasks, which allows them to do tasks or homework in an easy way without interruption. Besides this, children can broaden their horizons by developing focus and patience. This happens because reading books requires sustained concentration, teaching students discipline, focus, and patience over time. It fosters a habit of long-form reading, which is essential for critical and complex thinking. In the long run, these avid readers can grow into well-rounded adults thanks to their knowledge base in childhood
In conclusion, even though using computers, films, and games leads to problems such as physically and mentally, they struggle to focus on the lesson or tasks. I am still of the view that schools are supposed to use books for children because who can seize this opportunity to study without distraction focus is what they have the chance to improve: patience and focus.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “seem detrimental for children” could be rephrased as “may be detrimental for children,” and “they opt for watching short videos” could be rephrased as “they may opt to watch short videos.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, “computers, movies, and games should be used by schools as opposed to books” should be rephrased for clarity, and “I am still of the view that schools are supposed to use books for children” could be rephrased for clarity and conciseness. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the use of computers, movies, and games in schools as opposed to books. The writer presents a clear stance supporting the use of books and provides well-developed arguments to support this position. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.