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Sevinch

The pie chart gives data on Australia’s main sources of energy – oil,coal, gas, solar, wind, hydro, geothermal and others- in the year 2008 with forecasts for 2030.Overall, it is clear that coal was by far the most popular means of energy source in 2008, however, oil dominance is expected in 2030. Notably, oil coal and gas sources had the highest proportions all over the years, whereas reverse was true for the others.
Delving into the details, in 2008 Australia had the highest proportion of coal energy, at almost a two-fifth, while oil made up roughly a third. Interestingly, these figures are projected to reverse, to be precise, oil will top the chart with 35,50%, yet coal will be ranked second with 22,30%.Another striking change is expectation of growth trend for gas energy from around 23% to 32%.
Moving on to the only minor shares, it could be observed that initially rates of wind and hydro were the least substantial, stood at a mere 0,30% and 0,20% respectively, a figures which are predicted to witness a relatively insignificant rise by 2030. Similarly, solar (0,80%) and the other energy types (4,30%) also comprised a mere fraction in 2008 and the former energy source will be switched its position with geothermal energy.

6.0

The essay provides a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, there are some abrupt transitions and lack of clear linkage between ideas.

Suggestions
  • Use linking words to enhance flow.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
  • Use cohesive devices to connect sentences smoothly.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitive expressions.

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are frequent errors in punctuation and sentence structure.

The essay addresses the task and provides a clear overview of the data with some detailed comparisons. However, minor inaccuracies are present.

Suggestions
  • Ensure all data is accurately represented.
  • Avoid minor inaccuracies in data reporting.