Social media
Task 2
In recent years, social media has become on integral part of our daily lives, sparking debate about its influence on interpersonal relationship. Some of people talking isluting words on other channels of apps. Nowadays many adults are connected the social media and also they don’t understand the great harm.
On the other hand, the social media has a some advantages and disadvantages. As a statement, some of people talking insulting words on social media each other’s. It is made a strife and discord among people. Furthermore, I mentioned when people talking some words on social media. Despite this people have a hair when they talking insulting words. So that’s why arguments and quarrels with strangers can happen. So some of adults are connected in each apps. People forget to communicate to live. Familiar people talk and see each other less day by day with social media. Also the bad sites of social media’s are conflicts between people crimes, and accusations.
However, the social media has a benefit sites. For example, people can interconnect each other on social media. And they can make friends on different channels of apps. When people use social media, people gain insight into new things and relationships. So people can solve any issues on Internet. In my view people can find any details on social networks and they can create a video call on telegram. So they can talk easily in this chat. They can talk with customer through their advertisements on the networks. And they can sale and buy products and other things on the social media.
To be honest, I agree the social network’s benefits because this site has some conveniences for me!
The essay is somewhat organized, but the ideas are not clearly connected. There is no clear progression in the essay, and the use of cohesive devices is inconsistent.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to that topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder understanding.
The essay addresses the task, but the arguments are not fully developed. The essay introduces the topic of social media and its impact on interpersonal relationships, but the response is somewhat disorganized and lacks a clear thesis statement. The essay attempts to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, but the arguments are not well-developed, and the ideas are somewhat repetitive. The conclusion is brief and does not effectively summarize the main points discussed.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each argument is fully developed with relevant examples and clear explanations.
- Consider presenting a more focused and clear thesis statement in the introduction.
- Provide more specific examples to support the arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-organized.