Social media is gradually replacing books as the primary source of information and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In modern world, the place of social media is enlarging in people’s life while books becoming uncommon source of information and entertainment. This phenomenon is undoubtedly true, however not completely.
On the one hand, the impact of social media on people’s life is increasing significantly because there are many convenience. Firstly, it is the way of how it works. It is very fast. For instance, people can get any news after a minute it happened. It makes social media more common source for searching news and information. For example, all we get information about fires in Los Angeles from Instagram. As well, all others platforms give great amount of news and data. Secondly, the infrastructure of all platforms are saw suppose to make people into entertain. That is why more people find them more interesting than books. However, the duration of videos on the famous platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube are only 15 seconds which make a person to stop and watch it.
On the other hand, regardless of all improvements of social media, books are still valuable and precious for those who know its value. People may entertain with 15 seconds of videos of social media, unfortunately, there is something negative about it. During watching videos people feel roller coaster of emotions and it can cause emotional damage. However, books can help build strong personality and teach people be patient. The people who read books are more patient and mature than people who spend more time on social media. Furthermore, books do not have any negative effect on humans’ health but social media does. Book may not be major source of information now but they are still important to learn life lessons and without any damage and having a right mindset.
In conclusion, I agree that social media is gaining a popularity and becoming primary source for information and entertainment. I cannot simply deny the role of books.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and the overall structure of the essay is logical. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed exploration of the topic and by offering a more nuanced perspective.
Suggestions
- Provide a more detailed exploration of the topic and offer a more nuanced perspective.