Social media
OVERVIEW
Overall the proportion of both social medias saw an increase with that for instagramm seeing a bigger change.
Additionally instagramm showed consistently higher figures in each year compared to the other social media.
SOCIAL MEDIA SHOWED THE HIGHER RATE IN 2024
BODY 1
Pubg and instagramm exhibited consistently higher figures, pubg and instagramm showed much bigger figures compares to othe categories
Instagramm increased to 98.012 in middle of year.while social media followers in instagramm saw a slight drop to 97.205
Pubg continued its trajectory,reaching its peak of 51.008.
BODY2 the telegramm and twitter on the other hand, have noticiably small numbers,
Twitter on the other hand bucked followers in 2023 it have 22.029 followers a figures that then fell significantly to 12.185 in 2024
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could be more clearly separated with specific data to support the points made. The overview is not clearly separated from the body paragraphs, which could confuse the reader. The body paragraphs are somewhat repetitive, with similar phrases and structures used throughout. Clearer separation of ideas and more varied sentence structures would improve readability and coherence.
Suggestions
- Use specific data from the charts to support your points.
- Improve the overall structure and flow of the essay by better linking the overview to the body paragraphs and varying your sentence structures.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, but there are some errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., “instagramm,” “pubg,” “oher”). Some phrases are repeated multiple times, which limits the variety and richness of the language. Overall, the lexical resource is adequate but could be improved with more varied and precise vocabulary choices.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are several grammatical errors (e.g., “instagramm,” “pubg,” “figures compares to othe categories”). Some sentences are awkwardly constructed and hinder the reader’s understanding. Grammatical accuracy needs improvement, and a wider range of sentence structures would help enhance the essay’s overall quality.
The essay provides an overview of the trends in social media growth, comparing Instagram and PUBG. However, the data presented is inconsistent and sometimes unclear (e.g., “instagramm” and “pubg” instead of “Instagram” and “PUBG,” unclear data points and trends). The essay does not fully address the task requirements, and the analysis is limited and sometimes inaccurate.
Suggestions
- Ensure that all data points and trends are clear and consistent.
- Provide a more detailed analysis of the data, making sure to fully address all parts of the task.
- Use correct spellings and names of social media platforms to maintain professionalism.