Some argue that human nature is inherentlyaggressive, leading to conflict, while othersbelieve peace is our natural state. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Human traits are believed to be innately aggressive, often leading to discord. In contrast, others contend that peace is our true and inherent nature. In my opinion, even though violence and warfare have been elements of human history, continuing even in this day and age, it is peace that we always truly aim for.
Throughout history, every country has experienced its share of conflict and disagreement. Some people argue that these aggressions are primarily linked to human default, resulting in violence and wars between countries throughout history. It is evident from the past that early human ancestors’ aggressive behavior was necessary for hunting and survival, and this trait may have been passed down to subsequent generations. Even now, political unrest, violent protests, and wars between Russia and Ukraine represent the persistence of aggressive tendencies. However, externalities can be the primary reason for negative human character as well such as leadership and natural resources.
I, nevertheless, support the idea of peace and comfort as fundamental aspects of existence. Most religions and philosophies place a strong emphasis on maintaining peace and avoiding conflicts whenever possible. Additionally, modern organizations are quick to promote cooperation, peace talks, and ceasefires as soon as possible if conflicts arise. To make my point stronger, history can show shreds of evidence to highlight the true human aspiration. For instance, China and the USA were once rivals in the global market, which led to tensions. However, as the world progresses, countries find ways to restore friendly relations and achieve reconciliation between the two. The aforementioned points clearly indicate that even after confrontations, people and countries often prioritize stability and security over aggression.
In conclusion, even though human temperament is often associated it with wars, in my view, individuals are more likely to strive for peace and comfort, as evidenced by philosophical and religious beliefs, as well as modern campaigns aimed at conflict prevention
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. You demonstrate a good command of a wide vocabulary range, with appropriate use of terms related to the topic (“innately aggressive,” “discord,” “reconciliation”). Your language is clear and effectively conveys your ideas. To further improve, consider varying your language even more to avoid repetition and to more precisely convey your points.
The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. The essay showcases a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are error-free, enhancing the readability of your work. There are a few minor errors that do not significantly impact the understanding. To further improve, pay attention to the agreement of subjects and verbs and ensure the correct use of articles. Additionally, proofreading for typographical errors can help to polish your work.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in detail and supported with relevant examples. You have addressed the task by discussing both views and providing your opinion. Your introduction is clear and you have organized your essay effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a single point. You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support your claims, particularly in the first body paragraph.
Suggestions
- Consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will help to further strengthen your argument.