Some argue that schools should prioritize life skills such as working in teams and solving problems instead of traditional academics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by some people that schools should put stress on crucial life skills such as developing teamwork and solving problems rather than solely focusing on traditional academics. I believe these life skills are as much important as traditional ones.
Formal schooling often revolves around traditional discipline such as literature, math, and science. This is true because these are standardized exam subjects worldwide when applying for universities. For example, more prestigious universities like California Technological University and Harvard Medical School require SAT certification primarily if a candidate wants to apply and study there. Plus, classical education aims to yield a literate society to ensure the country economy and society keep developing. Well-read people, such as Elon Musk, are a good example of the importance of standard curriculum.‌‌
On the other hand, I am convinced that personal development skills should be added to the school syllabus. Schools are considered to be the best place to teach children about teamwork and problem solving skills since they are seen as a small society. For example, children do not get to confront a lot of people anywhere outside the school, so they are each others chance to develop some social skills. Furthermore, those so-called reputable universities take into account candidate’s life skills, such as being able to work in the team, leading the team, IQ levels, and volunteer work. Even though SAT certification is necessary, they favor students who are socially active and may grant them a chance to pursue education there.
In conclusion, I believe both skills: traditional education and life skills are equally necessary and play crucial roles in our lives.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a greater variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and sophistication.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of complex sentence structures and a variety of grammatical forms. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more varied sentence structure to enhance readability and engagement.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of both traditional education and life skills, such as teamwork and problem-solving. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reiterating the writer’s stance.