Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

So far an arguments which claims legally empowering of a law about putting all responsibility of looking after older members of the family, when they are unable to do this themselves, on the shoulders of younger generation of that family tree has been argued by some part of the society. To my mind, despite the fact that it will provide convenience for later life of oldsters, this legislation might have too many side effects for not only youngsters but also for society.
To begin, I reckon that it will be more beneficial if children look after their olds because of their honesty and family loving behavior learny by their parents than obeying a law unwillingly. There are some Islamic countries in the world where young children show unconditional assistance both financial and physical to their parents and grandparents who might not have ability to provide themselves even though nobody or no authority force them to do so. By contrast there are also some countries like China whose population contains mainly adults and retired people such as even septuagenarians and octogenarians who unfortunately commit crimes so as to be sent to jail where they are provided with space and food.
On the other hand, legalizing such laws will cause more negative effects than positive ones. İf a country had such legislations in the Constitution or other codexes dwelling younger generation would feel relatively more pression and depression. As a result, overthinking about their future responsibilities they would lose their confidence and miss teenage and adult opportunities like taking a degree or selecting a job. İn turn, this would lead to lacking of enough knowledge and work experience or any other skills which plays a key role in financial circumstances at all costs. Additionally, individual shortages may cause the falling of economy which threatens not only population but also the whole country’s later existence.
To conclude, although such kinds of laws may create some opportunities for older generation, the potential drawbacks overshadow those positives by causing stressful adult life for youth which threatens them with dark and demanding feature.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be more consistent.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some sentences that could be revised for better clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be more consistent.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the potential implications of a law that would assign the responsibility of caring for older family members to the younger generation. The writer presents a clear stance, arguing that such a legislation could have more negative than positive effects on individuals and society. The essay provides relevant examples to support the arguments made, but the development of the ideas could be more thorough. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.