Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In recent days, most youngsters daily life mainly consists of their gadgets such as mobile phones. This essay will give reasons of this trend and discuss weather or not it is beneficial development.
Several factors contribute to fact that nowadays, many youth use hours on phones for some reasons. First and foremost, digital tools like laptops and computers are replacing paper-based ones, which means almost all workplaces ranging from health care centres to education places. To be more specific, our era requires to work on them in order to increase efficince and accurate work progress, and education buildings – schools and universities are active users. In addition, young generation tend to be in touch with their relatives, friends and social followers to maintain their happiness. There is no doubt that the youth like to share with their experience on social medias where they motivate from outdoor and indoor people.
On the other hand, it has some kind of drawbacks on both mental and physical well-being. It is true that social media is not bounded at all, which has several impacts on person’s outlook and a good example of this is that violance trends making more people violent. Even if we escape from this materials, we are more likely to loose our eyesight. Furthermore, such digital devices are more likely to lead isolation and an increase of stress. Without doubt, most young internet users show online their best side where they reach freedom, and when it comes to other one, they prefer to be isolated and feel loneliest as they suffer from making new bridges.
In conclusion, a number of individuals including myself argue that most teenagers spend most time on their phones and we should take some actions not to face issues as I mentioned above.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance of the essay.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be increased to avoid repetition and enhance the lexical resource.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues that can be distracting. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance of the essay.