Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Some youngers are spending much of their time on their devices. This essay will discuss causes of this issue and try to find possible solution.
It has been argued that, some children spending more and more time on their gadjets and making it one of the most pressing problem to their parents. Moving to the reasons of this problem, environment which these kids growing up is one of the major driver of this issue and another one is children have innate curiosity and they are interested in technology from very young age. Nowadays, new generation are growing up by looking at parents and even grandparents who spend most of their spare time on their smartphones, tablets, laptops or other gadjets and of course this environment shows it is negative effects on child’s behaviour, routine and free time activities. Another reason might be children’s curiosity. Young minds are naturally extreamly interested in new things whether it is useful or harmful. Their interest in gadjets will become more and more increased by each time they looked at adults in their family who is spending hours on their cutting age devices.
Looking at the solutions of this contemporary problem, we can make children spend less time on smartphones and more time productive activities by showing good example or keeping them bisy with useful activities. Parents can show example by attempting use their smartphones as less as possible, especially in front of their children and showing them good example by engaging on useful activity such as reading book or spending their time on outdoor with their kids. Another good solution to address this problem might be enrolling children to some activities, for instance, sport, music, art or another one. Parents should be very careful when they choose activity, because child’s interest must be put in the first place and we should not choose one for them.
In conclusion, there are some causes of that, children spending more time on their smartphones nowadays, such as environment we create and child’s curiosity. We can address this problem by spending more time with children and engaging them to useful free time activities.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and provide a clear final thought.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as ‘gadgets,’ ‘curiosity,’ and ‘productive activities.’ However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, such as ‘youngters’ and ‘bisy.’ Additionally, the use of idiomatic language could be improved to make the writing more natural and engaging.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are only minor errors. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation that affect the overall clarity of the essay. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which helps to maintain reader interest. However, there are some grammatical errors that can affect the clarity of the writing, such as issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition use. Additionally, there are some errors in the use of articles and plural forms that can be distracting for the reader.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why some children spend a lot of time on their smartphones and whether this is a positive or negative development. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this issue, such as the influence of the family environment and the inherent curiosity of children, and also suggests potential solutions, such as engaging children in productive activities. However, the writer could further develop the argument to provide more depth and detail in support of these points.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.
- Provide specific examples to support your points.