Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, most of children spend their most time using their smartphones. These essay will discuss the main causes and tell whether this is a positive or a negative behavior sitting on the phone.
In xxı century there are a lot of children, who have their own phones and we can see that parents give smartphones to their babies, because they cannot stand when infants cry. In early age, they addicted to the phones, tablets, or computers. In that reason, they are growing up like zombies, which cannot live without smartphones. Another cause is that children have not got any lessons or house chores, because they can easily cheat homework from Artificial intelligent and robots do the house work for them. After that, they again lye on their bed and start playing games.
Using smartphones have some positive sides. For instance, watch news, learn languages, or find everything easily with Ai and Google. However, the electronics are harmful to your health, for example, your eyes or nowadays, we can easily say that mental health issues. When children spend hours every day on their smartphones, their brains start to freeze. In my opinion, using smartphones every day is a negative development and children should go outside, play with their friends or go to the sports. I cannot see any beneficial sides sitting on the phone. Children are only wasting their times. In the future, I think, the children who spend most of their time in the phones cannot be beneficial or even the people, which they dreamed when were children.
In conclusion, parents do not have to give the phones to their children from an early age, rather than they should do more physical activities, because there are many negative effects using smartphones hours every day in their life. For instance, mental health issues or it can be cause for the problem with their brain.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the author’s stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the arguments more effectively.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors that could be addressed for clarity. For example, “$Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?” should be “Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case, and is it a positive or negative development?” to ensure proper punctuation and conjunction use.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why many children spend hours on their smartphones and whether this is a positive or negative behavior. The writer presents a clear position that the behavior is negative, supporting this with relevant reasons. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well supported by the rest of the paragraph.