Some countries achieve international success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Is it a positive or negative development?

Some nations attain success globally by constructing special amenities to make it available to train excelled sportspeople, rather than supplying sports facilities for every individual’s usage. This essay believes that this is a negative development because it ignores majority of people, who could benefit from these sports facilities both physically and mentally, and also, the costs of building special amenities for athletes could be used for constructing community sports infrastructure, which benefits larger population.
Building structures that are specially designed for top athletes to train, disregards collosal number of humans, who could get advantage both physically and mentally. This is because these structures and amenities could benefit wider range of population and help more and more people to be physically active in addition, it encourages mental well-being, which is substantial for overall health of the population and also, it helps nations to be renowned by their overall inhabitants health. For example, by building public sports infrastructure, plenty number of nations are managed to attain both international success and to improve overall health of people and combat against some health conditions such as obesity.
Furthermore, the prices of constructing these amenities for sportspeople could be aimed at building sports buildings for community use. This is because the costs of building these amenities are huge and requires a lot of effort and instead, nations could use this budget in order to construct communities sports infrastructure, which benefit their citizens’ overall well being and by implementing this, they will be able to achieve international success for having healthy population. For instance, in many countries, building these structures brought global success and it also helped larger number of population to be benefited from these buildings rather than small number of athletes.
In conclusion, this essay believes that this is largely negative development as it ignores other large number of people and also, the costs of these buildings could be used for constructing community buildings, which potentially help populations in many countries.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “plenty number of nations” should be “a number of nations,” and “attain both international success and to improve overall health of people and combat against some health conditions such as obesity” could be rephrased for clarity. Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “This is because these structures and amenities could benefit wider range of population” should be “This is because these structures and amenities could benefit a wide range of populations,” and “the costs of these buildings could be used for constructing community buildings” should be “the costs could be used to construct community buildings.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the implications of focusing on specialized facilities for top athletes over community sports facilities. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points, but the essay could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the counter-argument. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.