Some countries achieve international success by building specialised facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Is it a positive or negative development?
Some nations attain success globally by constructing special amenities to make it available to train excelled sportspeople, rather than supplying sports facilities for every individual’s usage. This essay believes that this is a negative development because it ignores majority of people, who could benefit from these sports facilities both physically and mentally, and also, the costs of building special amenities for athletes could be used for constructing community sports infrastructure, which benefits larger population.
The construction of structures specifically designed for top athletes disregards a significant number of individuals, who could benefit both physically and mentally. This is because these structures and amenities could benefit a wider range of people and encourage more and more people to be physically active additionally, it promotes mental well-being, which is crucial for overall health of the population and also, it helps nations to be renowned by their overall inhabitants health. For example, by building public sports infrastructure, plenty number of nations are managed to attain both international success and to improve overall health of people and combat against some health conditions such as obesity.
Furthermore, the funds typically used for constructing amenities for sportspeople could be better utilized in the creation of community sports facilities. This is because the costs of building these amenities are huge and requires a lot of effort and instead, nations could use this budget in order to construct communities sports infrastructure, which benefit their citizens’ overall well-being and by implementing these things, they will be able to achieve international success for having healthy population. For instance, in many countries, construction of these structures has led to global success ,moreover it also helped larger number of population to be benefited from these buildings rather than small number of athletes.
In conclusion, this essay argues that this is largely negative as it overlooks a large number of people, who could benefit from these facilities, and the significant costs could be better used to construct buildings that benefit larger populations.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “amenities for sportspeople” could be rephrased as “sports facilities,” and “plenty number of nations” is not a standard phrasing. Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. For example, “The construction of structures specifically designed for top athletes disregards a significant number of individuals” could be rephrased for clarity. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more concise and focused. The introduction could be more concise and focused. The essay clearly states the position and provides relevant examples to support the argument. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the introduction is concise and focused.
- Provide more specific examples to support the arguments.
- Ensure that all points are fully developed and supported with relevant examples.