Some countries achieve success in sports by building specialised facilities for top athletes instead of building facilities that everyone can use. Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?
Some nations succeed in sport performances via creation of special buildings for top-tier sportspeole only rather than making it available for the average people. I believe that it is completely undesirable due to idolization of one and discouragement of the other in sports.
To start, I believe that minor successful appearances on TV are less beneficial for a public. If amounts are spent on specific walks of life’s comforts, which does not make up the majority of the population, people might get upset or even furious because of such discrimination. Such concerns are valid because catering to the one demographic will lead to discouragement of the other. People, as a result, can lose interest in exercising and sports overall if they have limited access to facilities. Moreover, the fixation on competitions can lead to waste of recources. Olympic games are a great example of misallocation of resources when Russia spent millions of dollars, acres of land and labour just to have the building to be a ruin.
As for arguments in favour of offering more opportunities to the would-be or already champions, they can easily be debunked. Fisrt, some might say that working out in public gyms can be too disctracting for athletes as they are likely to have some level of fame. Yet isolating them from the general public would be over the top. Secondly, there is a suspicion flowing around that athletes actually need more equipments than average gym-goer, but this cannot be true as there is a wide variety of machines is public gyms, and athletes would not agree to be experimental rats to go for such risks.
In conclusion, although some people speculate that giving more privileges to athletes is essential, I am of the opinion that general publics needs not less than that.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument less fluid. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and sophisticated language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures with a good level of accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for improved clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The writer’s opinion is clearly stated, and the argument is well-developed and supported with specific details. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more thorough analysis of the opposing viewpoint and by offering potential solutions to the issue discussed.
Suggestions
- Consider providing a more thorough analysis of the opposing viewpoint to strengthen the argument.
- Include potential solutions to the issue discussed to provide a more comprehensive response to the task.